The Beasties Return

First up: I have no idea what I’m doing. I am just a human being hurtling through her life doing her best to not destroy all the things and people around her. That’s basically what we all are.

Second up: There’s that creeping feeling in the back of my head again. It’s settled right around my neck and snaked into my brain. And I’m trying not the panic.

On the one hand, I’m not surprised. Of course this feeling would come back. I’ve been compulsively scanning for this feeling in the hope that vigilance would prevent it from staying. I’m still hopeful, but who am I really kidding?

Two step forwards, one step back.

But I have seen the light, and I’m not willing to fall back down without a hell of a fight. Ignoring my current predicament is not going to be what saves me. Faking it until I make it isn’t going to do it either.

Instead, I choose to face my tormentor with eyes open and teeth bared. This brain and this body belong to me. This is my life,   and I’m not ready for another two decades of despair. I can take a few days. Maybe even a few weeks. But we’re not backsliding all the way back to the beginning. I’m not going back into the corner. I’m not laying down.

Share your thoughts. Go on, do it.

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